The term “birth plan” often gets tossed around during pregnancy, but many expecting parents don’t realize how important it is to go deeper than just checking boxes. More than a checklist, your birth preferences are a powerful communication tool that can shape your experience and help your birth team understand what truly matters to you.

As someone trained in both birth photography and labor support, I attend births throughout The Woodlands and surrounding areas, offering comprehensive care as a Doula-Tog. During prenatal appointments, I help clients craft personalized and thoughtful birth preferences based on evidence, intuition, and what matters most to them.

Ditch the Template & Speak From the Heart

It’s tempting to print a quick birth plan from Pinterest or a big-name pregnancy site, but those templates often miss the mark. They can feel impersonal and checkbox-driven, and they don’t show your birth team who you are or what you care about.

Instead, open a blank document and write it out yourself. Use your own voice. Be specific. Be detailed. Share what you would like, not just what you don’t want. That shift in tone matters. For example:

• ❌ “No IV.”
• ✅ “I would prefer to avoid an IV unless medically necessary.”
• ❌ “No continuous monitoring.”
• ✅ “I prefer intermittent monitoring to allow freedom of movement.”

Positive, personalized statements encourage more collaborative conversations with your care team and help them advocate for you more effectively.

Your Preferences Make a Difference… Even If Birth Doesn’t Go As Planned

One of the most powerful things you can include in your preferences is a section for cesarean birth. Even if you’re planning a vaginal birth, acknowledging that birth is unpredictable shows preparation, not pessimism.

Here are examples of what you might include:

• Who you’d like in the operating room.
• If you’d like music played during the surgery.
• Requesting a clear drape or immediate skin-to-skin contact.
• Asking to keep your baby with you in recovery.
• Delaying Newborn Weighing & Measuring until you can be a part of it.
• Having your partner or doula with you the entire time.

These wishes tell your birth team, “I’ve thought this through. I’m flexible, but these are the things that matter most to me if a cesarean is medically necessary.”

Birth Preferences Can Create Change

Even if your care team cannot honor every preference, simply voicing them can shift the conversation. It might plant a seed, prompt reflection, or open the door to future change, not just for your own birth but for the families who come after you. When you speak up, you are showing your team that birthing people are informed, empowered, and intentional. That matters.

On the Birthing Instincts Podcast, Dr. Stu shared how delayed cord clamping was not always part of standard practice. But as more clients began learning about its benefits and requesting it, the conversation became more common in prenatal visits and delivery rooms. Your preferences can help create that kind of ripple effect.

The Logistics: How to Share Your Preferences

Bring several printed copies of your birth preferences—ideally 4 or 5—to your birthplace. Even if your provider says something like, “A birth plan should never be written down because we never know how birth will go” (a real statement my clients have heard), I still encourage you to write them out. Putting your wishes on paper shows that you’re informed, that your birth experience matters to you, and that you want to be an active participant in the decisions made throughout the process.

• Give a copy to each new nurse when shifts change.
• Request that the birth preferences are put into your patient chart.
• Post one on the whiteboard or cabinet in your labor room where it’s easy to see.
• If your preferences change during labor, don’t hesitate to update the document. Cross things out, add notes to make it reflect what’s unfolding in real time.

Taking these steps helps keep your entire care team on the same page and ensures your voice stays centered every step of the way.

Final Thoughts

Your birth preferences help you reflect on what matters most, invite your team into meaningful dialogue, and create a foundation of respect and trust. So skip the templates, trust your instincts, and write something that speaks to your values.

You’re not just planning a birth. You’re starting a powerful ripple effect.

Want to Hear More?

If this topic resonates with you, I highly recommend listening to this episode of the Birthing Instincts Podcast, where they dive into why birth preferences matter and how they’re often misunderstood. Some highlights from the episode include:

• “No cervical checks without consent.”
  A powerful reminder that consent matters at every stage of labor. You can also request to limit cervical checks to avoid unnecessary interventions.
• “Declining an IV or asking for a saline lock only.”
  If you’re hoping for an unmedicated or low-intervention birth, you have the right to make informed choices about how you’re monitored and treated.
• “Avoid continuous monitoring if not medically necessary.”
  Many birthing people don’t realize that intermittent monitoring is often just as safe and allows you more freedom to move and cope.

Hearing experienced doctors, midwives, and birth workers talk openly about these “hot take” topics is powerful and may inspire you to add things to your preferences you hadn’t considered before.